Kim goes to clown college
by Chin Possible
Summary: Oh no! What will happen next? Rated M for future chapters.
1. Haunted?

A/N: Okay bithes, I own ABSOLUTELY nothing. Not Kim Possible, not the Simpsons and not even the freakin' plot.

Now that that's behind us.... let the creativenessess begin!

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One day Kim Possible was driving to school.

"Yay!" she Homered. " It's a new month and that means new advertising bill boards."

The teen heroe stopped the car to read the first one. Because the car stopped so abruptly, she caused lots of cars to crash into her and explode behind her.

"This year give her English muffins," Kim read. " I should hint to Ron about that."

She continued driving untill she came to the next bill board. This time an empty car carryer truck put on it's breaks just in time behind her, then lots of cars accidently drove onto it. There was the sound of car horns beeping and angry people complaining.

"Heh heh...suckers," said the truck driver and sped away with the cars.

Meanwhile Kim read the advert.

"Flamin' Texas Sauce," she read. "Best in the West." Then, being a smart girl, she suddenly figured out the joke. "Ha! Ha! Best in the West! That rhymes!"

However the next billboard was disappointing.

"Clown college!" Kim groaned. "You can't eat that."

She droved to school. It was cheer practice. Kim randomly set the gym on fire.

"Kim!" snapped Bonnie. "The gym's on fire!"

The great sexy Kim looked at Bonnie and imagined her as a clown, then she looked at the other cheerleaders who were screaming at the fire. She imagined them as dancing clowns. "Heh heh..." she homered. "Clowns are funny..."

After school Kim went round Rooooooon's house, uninvited. She helped herself to dinner, but Roooooon's parents had great respect/fear for the teen "hero" so they didn't say anything. As Kim played with her food, Ron couldn't take his eyes off her stunning beauty.

"Wow," he said, ignoring his parents conversation about cheese. "She's so beautiful..."

He looked at her food and realised that she had carved her mashed potatoes into what looked like a circuis tent.

"That's it!" Kim suddenly stood up, determination clear in her voice. "You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"

Du du du du du du du

Squaking, the sexy girl hopped out the room. Mr and Mrs Stoppable looked at the sexy Roooooon and he shrugged.

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A/N: WOW WOT A CLIFFHANGA, YE? *shakes fist* Isn't it? *farts* I'm awesome.


	2. Alien invasion?

A.N: Back with the second amazin chapter. The G on my keyboard is playing up, so don't review on how my story is lackin Gs.

Disclaimer: I own nothing apart from Willywinks.

I don't own Mama Mia, ABBA, Kim Possible or the sexy Simpsons.

_-Lyrics from _

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The next day it was school. Kim forgot about clown college. She saw Rooooon by the lockers.

"Hi Rooooon," she sed.

"Hey KP," roned Roooon. "I want you to meet someone. Meet my cousin Willywinks."

Kim gaped. The most handsomest guy ever popped out of Ron's locker. He was covered in brown hair, had sharp pointed teeth and the appearance and body odour of an evil hampster, but his sexiness wasn't why Kim was staring in awe.

"Hey Kim," farted Willywinks. "Remember me?"

The sexy couple had gone on a date to an amusement park last summer. It hadn't gone particularly well. Kim had ended up abandoning him to stuff her face at the burger bar while he went on the Rollarcoaster of death to impress her. I can't be bothered to explain the date but on with the sexy story...

Mouth still agape, Kim started backing away like a traumatised Homer Simpson in that episode. When she was around the corner Kim started sining.

_"Ive been cheated by you since I dont know when  
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end  
Look at me now, will I ever learn?  
I dont know how but I suddenly lose control  
Theres a fire within my soul"_

She peeped around the corner at Roooon's sexy cousin who was scratching his butt:  
_"Just one look and I can hear a bell ring  
One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh"_

She continued backin away, singing as she did so. People stared at her coolness.  
_"Mamma Kima, here I go again  
Kim Kim, how can I resist you?  
Mamma Kima, does it show again?  
Kim Kim, just how much Ive missed you  
Yes, Ive been brokenhearted  
Blue since the day we farted  
Why, why did I ever let you go?  
Mamma Kima, now I really know,  
My my, I could never let you go."_  
She leaned against a random geeks locker, tryin to be cool:  
_"Ive been angry and sad about the things that you do  
I cant count all the times that Ive told you were through  
And when you go, when you slam the door  
I think you know that you wont be away too long  
You know that Im not that strong.  
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring  
One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh"_  
She started skipping down the hallway.  
_"Mamma Kima, here I go again  
Kim Kim, how can I resist you?  
Mamma Kima, does it show again?  
Kim Kim, just how much Ive missed you  
Yes, Ive been brokenhearted  
Blue since the day we farted  
Why, why did I ever let you go?  
Mamma Kima, even if I say  
Bye bye, leave me now or never  
Mamma Kima, its a game we play  
Bye bye doesnt mean forever"  
_She burst into the homeroom class singing. People stared at her greatness.

"Miss Possible," commanded Mr Barkin, "Kindly shut up and take a seat."

The sexy Kim took a seat but she didn't shut up as the beautifuly sang/squaked the last verse._  
"Mamma Kima, here I go again  
My my, how can I resist you?  
Mamma Kima, does it show again?  
My my, just how much Ive missed you  
Yes, Ive been brokenhearted  
Blue since the day we farted  
Why, why did I ever let you go  
Mamma Kima, now I really know  
My my, I could never let you go!"_

"Hey cool song," said a voice next to her.

Roaring, the sexy Kim turned her beautiful head and was horrified to see a hideous boy sitting next to her. He had shiney spikey brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, white horribly straight teeth and a toned but not too muscly body.

"FREAK!" Kim squaked, shaking her head making her huge square chin shake as she did so.

"Kim!" snapped Mr B. "Leave my son alone or you are suspended."

"Aweh man," groaned the hideous boy, embarrassed.

"Fine thens!" howled Kim in her murderous rage. "I GUESS ALL THE FREAK SHOWS HAVE LET THEIR FREAKS GO FREE!" And with that the poor Kim who we should all feel sorry for, ran out the room in tears, making the ground tremble as she did so.

Everyone shrugged.

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A.N: Oh no! Poor Kim! Who will feel sorry for her?


	3. Bart's Comet

A.N: This story is rocking.

Disclaimers: I HATE DISCLAIMERS. IT'S OBVIOUS I DONT FRIGGIN OWN KIM POSSIBLE!!! If I did she would be fat and hairy with a huge square chin.

I also don't own the hardcore song or the scary film known to mankind as Mama Mia.

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"CRY CRY CRY!"

Kim howled as she ran past the sexy Ron and Willywinks, hoping she got their attention eventhough Willywinks was making bubblegum with his nose.

"Oh no!" gasped Ron. "Kim!"

The sexy teen hero fled into the girl's bathroom where she sqeezed herself into a cubicle, locking herself in.

"Kim?"

Her mood lifted. _That was Ron's voice... _

"Kim?"

And that squaking, croaky, alluring voice could only belong to Willywinks. Kim heard the bathroom door opening and girls screaming.

"Like!" snapped Bonnie. "You aren't girls!"

"I don't care," sed Roooon. "Kim needs me! Bonnie go away! So la de da dee day-"

"Alright! Jeez! I'm goin'!"

Kim held her breath. There were more voices, only belonging to Ron and Willywinks, then a knock on the cubicle door. She held her breath, before forcing out a despairing wail, then wetted her cheeks with toilet water to make her tears look more pitiful.

Then, to her utter amazement, Rooon started singing....

_"Kimittita tell me what's wrong,_

_You're enchained by your own sorrow._

_In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow."_

He nudged Willywinks who started singing in his alluring voice:

_"How I hate to see you like... this..." _Kim squaked in surprise as she saw his sexy face peeping from under the cubicle door. He continued to sing._ "There is no way you can deny it."_

Ron peeped over the top and they both sangded together. _"I can see that you're all so sad, so quiet."_

Sure Kim liked the attention, but she wanted more so, howling, she slammed open the cubicle door, sending Ron and Willywinks flying before fleeing the room. Just as Kim hoped, the two attractive boys followed her out, singing as they did so.

"_Kimmititta tell me the truth,_

_I'm a shoulder you can cry on._

_Your best friends. We're the ones you must rely on."_

Kim wailed, falling to the floor and they knelt beside her, singing.

_"You were always sure of yourself,_

_Now I see you've broken a feather,_

_I hope we can patch it up together..._

_Kimittita you and I know how the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving_

_You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end_

_You will have no time for grieving._

_Kimitita you and I cry_

_But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you,_

_Let me hear you sing once more like you did before_

_Sing a new song, Kimitita_

_Try once more like you did before_

_Sing a new song Kimitita."_

"I- I-" Kim blurted out and the guys stopped singing in surprise as Kim blew her hairy nose on a random passing boy's sweater.

"EW!" he screamed.

Kim gave him a roar of disapproval and turned back to her best friend and best friend's cousin. Blinking back more threatening tears, she took a deep breath.

"I don't remember why I was crying."

"Kim no!" Ron said firmly. "You're beautiful! No matter what they say!"

Kim stared at Roooon. _He thought that...?_ Wow. She never knew. And now that she thought about it, Ron was pretty handsome himself, with his long neck, huge ears, missing teeth and freckles. Maybe he was the one for her after all. Sure, Willywinks was handsome, but Ron...._ we love Ron._

"You think that?" sedded Kim. "You think I'm beautiful?"

"Yes Kim," said Ron. "You see, the truth is... I love you."

Kim gaped, staring at Ron over her long square chin. "I love you too," she said.

They leaned in closer to eachother. Willywinks shrugged and wandered off to steal some lunch money. Meanwhile...

Can they...?

CAN THEY...?!?

Their lips met.

YES THEY CAN!!!

AAAAA: Amazing/romantic music came on.

"Lets take this upstairs," Kim said sexily. Ron had hearts in eyes. Brother ladies. They wented upstairs to fun.

-THE END-

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A.N: And the epic novel comes to an end.


	4. Gone?

A.N: It's not the end.

Disclaimers: I HATE DISCLAIMERS. IT'S OBVIOUS I DONT FRIGGIN OWN KIM POSSIBLE!!! If I did she would be fat and hairy with a huge square chin.

I also don't own the hardcore song or the scary film known to mankind as Mama Mia.

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The next day Kim went to school. She saw Rooooooon. Roooooooooon saw Kim. They wished they could confess their felings. Ron stared at Kim's beauty. She looked so beautiful with her body hair, rolls of fat and her square chin. She was even shaving her stubble which made her all the more sexier. Then Kim saw Ron. Wow. He was so handsome! As always he was naked so his sexy body was on show.

"He will never know that I love him", Kim thought sadly.

"She will never know that I love her," Ron thought sadly.

"Hi Ron."

"Hi KP."

"Did you hear," farted Kim, scratching her butt in an alluring way, "the spring dance is coming up, but get this! That jerk Bonnie says I can't dance!"

Ron couldn't believe his ears. "Kim! No! You CAN dance! No matter what they say."

Kim roared in approval, beating her chest with her fists like an angry gorilla. Then she saw George (Bonnie's little bro. He is OC so is a Mary Sue/Gary Stu.) "YO FREAK," she howled sexily. "YOU THINK I CAN DANCE?!?"

"Y-yes..." he stuttered. "Er....you're practically a dancing queen!"

Kim roared in approval and before anyone knew what was happening, Ron burst into song. George, not wanting to be eaten, quickly joined in.

"_You can dance! You can jive! Havin' the time of your life,_

_Oooh see that girl,_

_Watch that scene,_

_Dig it! The dancing Queen!"_

Kim howled in pride at how great her dancing was. Ron stole a hairbrush from Bonnie.

"Hey!" she snapped but he ignored her.

He sang, using the hairbrush as a microphone: "_Friday night at the light's are low,_

_Lookin out for a place to go."_

Now George sangded. _"Where they play the right music,_

_Gettin' in the swing; You've come to look for a King."_

They both sang together now. _"Anybody can be that guy, night is young and the music's high.... With a bit of rock music, everything is fine you're in the mood for a dance, and when you get the chance..." _They started skipping down the hallway and Kim followed gracefully, causing an earth quake. _"You are the dancing Queen, young and sweet, only 17. Dancing queen, feel the beat on the tamborine..."_

"_Oh YEEEEEEEEAAAH!"_ bellowed/ sang Kim.

They all sang together. Kim pointed to a mirror that was on a scared looking girl's locker. _"YOU can dance! YOU can jive! Havin' the time of your life, ohhh..."_

_"See that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the dancing queen..."_

The sexy Kim skipped over to a random boy called Danny and wrapped her underwear around his neck in a sexy alluring way. He looked terrified and slightly ill. Probably the shock of seeing something so beautiful. Kim sang. _"You're a teaser you turn 'em on, leave 'em burning and then you're gone..." _she skipped off, leaving an obviously nerve-wracked Danny to puke. She joined Ron and George in song. They were walking cooly in a line down the hallway. "Lookin' out for another, anyone will do. You're in the mood for a dance. And when you get the chance..."

"Join in everybody!" Ron commanded to the stunned students they were passing. Nobody did so Kim let out a tremendous rawr of anger.

"YO LOSERS! JOIN IN!"

At once everyone clumsily ran behind Kim, Ron and George, and started skipping behind them in a line, joining in the song.

_"You are the dancing Queen,_

_Young and sweet,_

_Only 17,_

_Dancing Queen,_

_Feel the beat from the tamborine..."_

"_Oh YEEEEEEEEAAAH!"_ bellowed Kim.

"_You can dance! You can jive! Havin' the time of your life,_

_Oooh see that girl,_

_Watch that scene,_

_Dig it! The dancing Queen!_

_Diggin the dancing Queen!"_

Everyone went outside and danced in a circle around Kim. "_You can dance! You can jive! Havin' the time of your life,_

_Oooh see that girl..."_

Felix played a very short, yet awesome guitar solo.

_Watch that scene..."_

He played another.

_Dig it! The dancing Queen!"_

The song finished and everyone walked away like nothing had happened.

"You're right Ron!" said Kim to Ron because George had left with the other guys. "I will go to the ball. I just need a date...."

Ron leaned closer to her, grinning widely to show off his attractive missing teeth. "I know who you can ask..." he hinted.

"Who?" gasped Kim.

"M-" Ron began but they were interrupted by a voice. It was croaky and alluring.

"Hi guys."

Kim and Ron turned around and saw...........................................................................................................................Willywinks!

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A.N: *farts*


	5. But, Kim can't be deadright?

A.N: Omg this story is epic.

Disclaimers: I HATE DISCLAIMERS. IT'S OBVIOUS I DONT FRIGGIN OWN KIM POSSIBLE!!! If I did she would be fat and hairy with a huge square chin.

I also don't own the hardcore song or the scary film known to mankind as Mama Mia.

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Kim gasped. Willywinks looked so sexy. Today he had decided to wear a fluffy rainbow flashing bodysuit and, of course, all eyes were on his sexiness.

"Wow," said Kim with hearts in her eyes. "Willywinks looks hot!"

"GRRRRRRRRR!" Ron growled in a jealous way.

"Hi guys," Willywinks repeated. "Wanna come round my house? I got that awesome game, Zombie Mayham."

"Cool," farted Ron, "OK."

"Will there be food?" Kim curiously scratched her hairy butt.

Willywinks gave her a look of smugness. "I robbed an all-you-can-eat seafood resturant, so that means... ALL YOU CAN EAT!"

"WOOHOO!" homered Kim. She was so there.

Du du du du du du du....

They went to Willywink's house and they got there. It was pink and flashing with a live cow glued to the roof. Willywinks had a big plazma screen.

"Cool," roned Ron, "now this place is swankay."

"Where be food?" farted Kim, looking around.

"Kitchen," replied Willywinks and the attractive girl hopped off, squaking, causing another earthquake. Ron went flying across the room and then he landed in front of Willywinks and they immediatly started growling at each other.

"You stay away from my kim!" Ron scolded.

"No chance pretty boy," said Willywinks in that alluring squaking voice, "Kim likes me and you know it, besides she went out with me last Summer. Remember? To the amusement pasrk?"

"Oh," Ron's eyes narrowed, "so that's how it's gonna be..."

"Yes," pooed Willywinks. "I guess this can only be explained in song."

He picked up a guitar that just happened to be there even though he has never played guitar in his life, then began to play a beautiful slow melody, even though he's had no practice. He sang along as he did so.

_"I can still recall our last summer,_

_I still see it all,_

_Walks along the sane,_

_Laughing in the rain,_

_Our last summer,_

_memories that remain..._

_We made our way towards the river and we sat down in the grass by the Eiffel tower.."_

"Wait a minuite," Ron interrupted, "since when did you go to France together?"

"Shuddap!" groaned Willywinks. "I can't think of any alternative lyrics in the short amount of time we have before Kim returns." Ron farted and Willywinks continued the song.

_"I was so happy we had met, it was the age of no regret. Oh yes!_

_Those crazy years that were the time of the flower power,_

_but underneath we had a fear of flying,_

_of growing fat,_

_a fear of slowly dying,_

_we took a chance,_

_like we were dancing our last dance..._

_I can still recall our last summer,_

_I still see it all,_

_In the tourist jam,_

_By the Notre Dam,_

_Our last summer,_

_walking hand in hand..._

_Paris resturants,_

_Our last summer,_

_Moring croissants,_

_Living for the day,_

_Worries far away,_

_Our last Summer,_

_We could laugh and play..."_

Ron then surprised Willywinks by singing. _"And now you work as a trash man, Seafood fan, hampster man, and your name is Willy.."_

_"How dull it seems.."_ sanged Willywinks then he heard a loud burp from the kitchen, belonging to the beautiful Kim. _"Is she the angel of my dreams?"_ him and Ron both sang together. Then they sang the last chorus...

"_I can still recall our last summer,_

_I still see it all,_

_In the tourist jam,_

_Round the Notre Dam,_

_Our last summer,_

_walking hand in hand..._

_I can still recall our last summer,_

_I still see it all,_

_Walks along the sane,_

_Laughing in the rain,_

_Our last summer,_

_memories that remain..."_

The song stopped and Ron and Willywinks were back to giving eachother evil glares.

"Oh it's on," eviled Ron.

Willywinks gave him an evil grin, baring his sharp pointed yellow teeth. "Like mud on a pig..."

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A.N: *farts*


	6. Drakken's taking over the World?

A.N: Omg this story is epic.

Disclaimers: I HATE DISCLAIMERS. IT'S OBVIOUS I DONT FRIGGIN OWN KIM POSSIBLE!!! If I did she would be fat and hairy with a huge square chin.

I also don't own the hardcore song or the scary film known to mankind as Mama Mia.

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The next day was school. Kim came in hungover, then she saw Willywinks. He came skipping over to her, wearing a ballet tu tu. Kim couldn't believe how hot he looked.

"Kim! Kim!" he squaked then stopped in front of her great presence, trying to catch his breath. "I needed to ask you something quickly before Ron did."

Kim scratched her butt. "Wot?"

Willywinks took a deep breath. "I was going to ask you to the.......................................................................................................................SPRING DANCE!"

DUN DUN DUN!

"Sure" pooed Kim, "Okay."

"YAY!" cheered Willywinks, who started doing an Irish dance in his joy.

"You better not leave me for someone else," Kim growled like a monster, but she is not a monster. She is beautiful. We all know that.

Willywinks was gobsmacked. "Of course not! You've changed my World around..." Out of nowhere music started playing... and Willywinks started singing... "I wasn't jealous before we met, now every man that I see is a potential threat." He randomly walked over to Danny (the king of random pointless OCs) and started punching him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" screamed Danny like a stupid Flanders. "I'M BEING ATTACKED BY A EVIL DEMENTED HAMPSTER!"

He fled. Kim sighed at Willywinkses manliness, then the sexy guy continued his song, _"And I'm possesive it isn't nice. You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice..." _he started smoking a cigarette and blew the smoke in the face of a little boy who began to have a coughing fit. Kim laughed loudly and slowly as Willywinks continued. _"But now it isn't true, now everything is new. And all I've learned has overturned. I begg of you..."_

Now Kim started singing. _"Don't go wasting your emotion. Lay all your love on me.." _She walked sexily to a random geeks locker, wiggling her butt, then she leaned against the wall, suceeding to be sexy. _"It wos like shooting a sitting duck. A little small talk, a smile and baby I was stuck. I still don't know what you've done to me.." _she did a sexy crawl on the floor towards her new date, _"a grown-up woman should never fall so easily... I feel kinda fear when I don't have you near. Unsatisfied, I skip my pride. I beg you dear..."_

Willywinks broke into song. _"Don't go wasting your emotion. Lay all your love on me. Don't go sharing your devotion. Lay all your love on me..."_

Kim spinned around the hall like a ballerina. _"I've had a few little love afairs, they only lasted one night. I don't remember them."_

_"I used to think that was sensible" _squaked Willywinks._ " It makes the truth even more incomprehensible..." _They both sang together._ "'Cos everything is new and everything is you and all I've learned had overturned. What can I do?"_

Willywinks sang_, "Don't go wasting your emotion. Lay all your love on me. Don't go sharing your devotion. Lay all your love on me..."_

Kim sang,_ "Don't go wasting your emotion. Lay all your love on me. Don't go sharing your devotion. Lay all your love on me..."_

They leaned in closer together.... their lips were getting closer, then - dun dun dun- they were kissing!

"No!" wept Ron who had been spying on the whole thing, despite the fact he was there before Willywinks so could have had a chance to ask Kim first. Seeing nothing that could be done, the hardcore Ron ran away, crying.

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A.N: *farts*


	7. Return of Shego

A.N: Omg this story is epic.

Disclaimers: I HATE DISCLAIMERS. IT'S OBVIOUS I DONT FRIGGIN OWN KIM POSSIBLE!!! If I did she would be fat and hairy with a huge square chin.

I also don't own the hardcore song or the scary film known to mankind as Mama Mia.

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Kim was skipping through the school, roaring, squaking and howling in her merriment. She had to find Ron, had to tell him the good news... She found the special freckily boy crying in the middle of the hallway, but she began talking to him in a cheerful voice, despite the fact that he was crying. "Guess what," she announced her trademark catchphrase, "I got a date!"

Ron growled, baring his teeth. "With whom?" he asked, despite the fact that he already knew because he had been spying.

"Willywinks!" squaked Kim, looking all dreamy. "I've never felt like this before!" she sighed loudly. "Willywinks is the one! I just know it!"

Then, to back up her evidence, she started singing in her angelic, squaking voice. _"Honey, Honey, how he thrills me, uh huh, Honey, Honey. Honey, Honey, nearly kills me, uh huh, Honey, Honey. I heard about him before. I wanted to know some more and now I know what they mean. He's a love machiiiiiiiinnnee! Oh, he makes me dizzy!" _The graceful Kim ran into the English room and jumped onto a desk, then the chair, showing no concern for the basin-haired nerd she had just kicked off. Ron walked into the room looking all moody. Kim continued in her heavenly voice. _"Honey, Honey, let me feel it, uh huh, Honey, Honey. Honey, Honey, don't conceal it, uh huh, Honey, Honey. The way that you kiss goodnight. The way that you hold me tight. I feel like I wanna sing, when you do your-"_

"Hey! I was there first!" the irritated nerd snapped, pulling Kim off the chair.

_"Thing!"_ she gasped, trying to stop the derranged crazed giggles that the great Kim could not possibly utter. _Aweh! Now she had to sing on the floor! _At least she was _about_ to sing, when someone sexy walked into the room. It was............(dramatic pause, prepare yourself for the surprise).............Willywinks! Then he started singing!

_"I don't wanna make you worry,_

_I don't wanna see you cry,_

_So stay on the ground, girl, you better not get too high..."_

Kim skipped over to him, singing in her deep womanly voice, adam's apple bobbing as she did so. _"But I'm gonna stick with you, boy. You'll never get rid of me. There's no other place on this World where I'd rather be_.... _Honey, Honey, touch me baby, uh huh, Honey, Honey. Honey, Honey, hold me baby, uh huh, Honey, Honey. You look like a movie star. I love just who you are. And honey, to say the least, you're a dog-gone-" _to Kim's horror she tripped backwards over a random microwave, so skreiked instead of sang the next word: _"BEAST!" _

Willywinks did a cool dance move, then sang, _"So stay on the ground, girl, you better not get too high.."_

Ron was letting out roars of anger.

Kim sang, _"There's no other place on this World where I'd rather be...."_

They both sang together. _"Honey, Honey, how you thrill me, uh huh, Honey, Honey. Honey, Honey, nearly kills me, uh huh, Honey, Honey." _

Willywinks randomly left the room for no apparent reason and Kim sighed like a princess, giving a graceful twirl before wandering over to the window, gazing out at the view of the school sports field. She sqaked/sang softly. _"I heard about you before. I wanted to know some more and now I'm about to see, what you mean to me..." _

The song was over and everyone was staring in awe. Kim turned around to face Ron with a wide toothy grin. "Can you believe? Willywinks is my date!"

"I'm so happy for you..." squaked Ron, sounding cool as always.

But little did the sexy teen hero know her sidekick was jealous. Yeah, that's right, jealous! And he would do anything to be with Kim...

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A.N: *farts*


	8. Ron finds a moonrock in his nose

A.N: Omg this story is hella rad. Hella. *squak* I love Jade! He's hella rad! Anyway...

Disclaimers: I HATE DISCLAIMERS. IT'S OBVIOUS I DONT FRIGGIN OWN KIM POSSIBLE!!! If I did she would be fat and hairy with a huge square chin.

I also don't own the hardcore song or the scary film known to mankind as Mama Mia.

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It was the weekend. Yay! Kim was out at the mall with Monique and Bonnie to choses dresses for the dance, despite the fact that her and Bonnie are enemies. Despite the fact that Kim hadn't washed for months, she decided to go to the mall without washing. Of course, being so perfect, she smelled lovely and in the pink sparkly bikini she wore, she turned many male heads. She even turned female heads she was so beautiful. One woman even shielded her baby's eyes from the teen hero's sexiness.

"Look but don't touch boys," she growled seductively as her and her friends made their way into Club Banana.

Kim roared as she realised that none of the clothes were her size. She was size 90000000000000000000 and the sizes only went up to 42. Stupid lousy anorexic people. Why did shops not appreciate womanly curves?

Monique's excited voice snapped Kim out of her thoughts. "Like no way girlfriends! Mmmhmmm! Haay! This skirt is so cute and it only costs $15!

"No way!" sqealed Bonnie, picking up a skirt that stupidly cost $300. "I only have ten of these!"

Then Kim saw a dress she liked. It was a size 42, but she'd sqeeze into it. The dress was pink with poufy sleeves, a frilly collar, huge yellow buttons going down it, with a head of a fat bald old man (he's one of those big-egoed famous guys who you have never heard of) on the butt. That was when Kim noticed the price...

"WOT?" she howled, outraged. "ONE CENT? WOT A RIP!"

"Kim," Bonnie looked a little annoyed. "That's a total bargain, even for that_ hideous _dress."

"IT BE SEXY!" roared Kim, beating her chest with her fists like an angry Buster. Then she turned to Monique. "Hey Mon, can I borrow some money?"

"Kim," Monique said bravely, "I leant you all my life savings five years ago - $5000 - and I haven't had one cent back."

Roaring in torment, and not being able to believe her friends meaness, Kim turned desperatly to Bonnie. "Squak?" she asked.

"No!" snapped Bonnie so Kim went up the cashier for no apparent reason and let out a tremendous roar of anger. "It's not fair!" Kim wept, while doing the can can around the room. "I never have any money! Whysees can't I have any moneysees?" To that, the sexy teen hero started....guess what?.........singing!

_"I sleep all night, I sleep all day, Mon pays the bills I have to pay..."_

"_Ain't it sad?"_ sang Bonnie, Monique and the terrified cashier, who was a geeky teenage boy but who really cares?

_"And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me."_

_"That's too bad,"_ sang Monique, a little bitterly but Kim ignored her.

_"In my dreams I have a plan, if I got me a wealthy man, I wouldn't have to work at all. I'd fool around and have a ball." _Kim picked up the beautiful dress and skipped around the room with it, singing and pretending to wear it. _"Money Money Money,_

_Must be funny,_

_In a rich man's World,_

_Money money money,_

_Always sunny,_

_In a rich man's World,_

_Ohh wooahhh, all the things I could do,_

_if I had a little money..._

_It's a rich man's World,_

_It's a rich man's World!"_

Monique walked over to Kim and patted her leg sympatheticaly (she can't reach her arm or shoulder. Kim's too tall.) _"A man like that is hard to find."_

_"But I can't get him off my mind," _Kim retorted in song.

_"Aint it sad?"_ that was everyone in the shop.

"_And if 'e 'appened to be free, he be intimidated by me..."_

_"That's to bad."_

Kim randomly started eating the dress but the cashier was too scared to do anything about it.

_"So I must leave, I have to go, to Las Vegas or Monoco,_

_And win a fortune in a game,_

_My life would never be the same..."_

She skipped out the shop and Bonnie and Monique joined her in song. _"Money Money Money,_

_Must be funny,_

_In a rich man's World,_

_Money money money,_

_Always sunny,_

_In a rich man's World,_

_Ohh wooahhh, all the things I could do_

_if I had a little money..._

_It's a rich man's World!"_

They randomly walked into a shop called "The Geekery."

_"Money Money Money,_

_Must be funny,_

_In a rich man's World,_

_Money money money,_

_Always sunny,_

_In a rich man's World,_

_Ohh wooahhhohoho, all the things I could do_

_if I had a little money..._

_It's a rich man's World!_

_It's a rich man's World!"_

"Oh whatever," said Kim, suddenly out of song mode. "I'm just gonna steal it."

"Er, Kim..." Bonnie was smirking, "You ate it."

"WOT," howled Kim. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....Oh, I'll just steal a different dress."

What will happen next?!?!

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A.N: *farts*


	9. The conference

A.N: Omg this story is crakkin' lakkin'!!!

Disclaimers: I HATE DISCLAIMERS. IT'S OBVIOUS I DONT FRIGGIN OWN KIM POSSIBLE!!! If I did she would be fat and hairy with a huge square chin.

I also don't own the hardcore song or the scary film known to mankind as Mama Mia.

I don't own Hannah Montana. If I did she would probably be dead....

On with the sexy story!

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The next day Kim went to school, despite the fact that it was Sunday. Willywinks was there too. They were by the lockers.

"Hey Willywinks" Kim flirted sexily.

"Hey Kim," farted Willywinks loudly. "Guess what, I got tickets to the Hannah Montana concert in Middleton. You wanna come?"

"Well Hannah sucks, concerts suck and you suck...." said Kim, "But OKAY!"

"Cool!" said Willywinks. "See ya there."

Little did the sexy couple know that someone was spying on them and that someone was...........(dramatic pause)................RON!!! DUN DUN DUN DUN!!!

"Oh no," he said. "I must dress up as Hannah Montana so I can spy..."

Du du du du du du du.....

It was the night of the concert. (The spring dance hadn't arrived yet.) The crowd were cheering, but no one was cheering more than Kim or Willywinks. They loved the hardcore heavy metal singer more than anything, despite the fact that Kim just claimed she hated her. What they didn't know was the heavy metal star was presently locked up in a supply closet unconcious, and it was Ron dressed in a blonde wig, high heels, skinny jeans and pink sparkly top that was walking cooly onto the stage.

"Hello fans," he squaked. He could see Kim clearly in the audience, standing out like a sexy sore thumb. She took up like ten seats, eventhough everyone was standing up. "My first song is a cover version and it's dedicated to the one I love...." You guessed it! He started to sing!

_"Super trouper,_

_lights are gonna find me,_

_but I wont feel blue,_

_like I always do,_

_'cos somewhere in the crowd there's you..."_

Cool music started playing.

_"I was sick and tired of everything,_

_when I called you from Bueno Nacho,_

_All I do is eat and sleep and sing,_

_wishing Willywinks would just not show,_

_So imagine I was glad to hear you calling,_

_Suddenly I feel alright,_

_and it's gonna be so diffrent when I'm on the stage tonight..._

_Tonight the_ _Super trouper,_

_lights are gonna find me,_

_shining like the sun,_

_smiling having fun,_

_feeling like a number one..._

_Tonight the Super trouper,_

_beams are gonna blind me,_

_but I wont feel blue,_

_like I always do,_

_'cos somewhere in the crowd there's you..."_

Ron looked at Kim and saw she was cheering, wearing a Hannah Montana leotard. He sighed. Would she ever know how much he loved her and that this song was for her?

_"Facing 20,000 of your friends,_

_How can anyone be so lonely?_

_Part of our sucess that never ends,_

_Now I'm thinking about you only._

_There are moments when I think I'm going crazy,_

_But it's gonna be alright,_

_Everything will be so different when I'm on the stage tonight.._.

_Tonight the_ _Super trouper,_

_lights are gonna find me,_

_shining like the sun,_

_smiling having fun,_

_feeling like a number one..._

_Tonight the Super trouper,_

_beams are gonna blind me,_

_but I wont feel blue,_

_like I always do,_

_'cos somewhere in the crowd there's you..._

_So I'll be there,_

_When Willywinks dies,_

_The sight of you will prove to me I'm still alive_

_and when you take me in your arms_

_and hold me tight,_

_I know it's gonna mean so much tonight..._

_Tonight the_ _Super trouper,_

_lights are gonna find me,_

_shining like the sun,_

_smiling having fun,_

_feeling like a number one..._

_Tonight the Super trouper,_

_beams are gonna blind me,_

_but I wont feel blue,_

_like I always do,_

_'cos somewhere in the croooowwwwwd there's you..."_

"FREEZE IMPOSTER!" squaked a manly voice.

Everyone gasped. IT WAS HANNAH MONTANA!!!!!!!!!! She was in her Hello Kitty underwear, looking furious. "This guy," she pointed to Ron, "THAT'S RIGHT, GUY- is not me. He's.......................er, actually I have no idea who he is but I can prove he's not me..." Ignoring Ron's protests, since as he was too thick to run, she pulled his wig off.

"GASP!" said everyone.

Kim farted in surprise. "RON?!" she bellowed, shaving her stubble as she did so. "YOU WERE SPYING ON ME! HOW COULD YOU? CRY CRY CRY!"

To Ron's horror, she ran away crying. Willywinks gave his cousin a look of disgust. "Kim! Wait!" Ron was about to run after her, but then he saw it... his crazy Ron fan girls. And yes, Ron does have fan girls. I mean, c'mon, he's so handsome! How can you not see that? Their names were Bonnie, yes THE Bonnie, (she had finally realised Ron's handsomness), Mimosa, Gollum (a sexy bald hunchback) and StupidClara. She was Clara's cousin and had a big nose.

"Like Freckily Specially!" they all sqealed at the same time. "Let's get him!"

"NOOOOO!" howled Ron, he jumped off the stage and started to flee. Hannah Montana was singing another genious cover version.

_"Gimme gimme gimme a man after Midnight,_

_Wont somebody help me chase the shadows away._

_Gimme gimme gimme a man after Midnight,_

_Take me through the darkness to the break of the day..."_

Ron screamed as the girls suddenly jumped on him, kissing him and covering him with lipstick so he looked even more like a drag queen. Sure Gollum and StupidClara were beautiful, but... they were nothing compared to Kim...

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A.N: *farts*


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